THE RIVAL SCHOOLS

By FRANK RICHARDS,

THE FIRST CHAPTER.

Goal!

“HALLO, hallo, hallo! “

“What have you got there, Billy?”

Bob Cherry had just run into No. 1 Study for his football. Billy Bunter was

the only occupant of the study, and an he was sitting at the table, with his spectacles glued to a paper spread out there before him, evidently

Deeply and engrossed in its contents. As Bob Cherry ran in, Bunter jumped up, and hastily thrust the paper out of sight under his jacket—a proceeding which Bob feud with considerable astonishment.

“ I—er---Did you speak, Cherry” stammered Billy Bunter.

“Yes, ass! I asked you what you had got there?”

“Oh, did you?”

“Yes, I did,” said Bob Cherry. “What is it? What are you hiding under your jacket?”

Bunter turned red.

“Well, you see, I wasn’t exactly hiding it,” he said; “I was just putting it away. It’s all right, Cherry. What have you come in for? It’s not tea-time yet.”

“I know it is isn’t. I’ve come in for my football.” Bob Cherry looked suspiciously at the fat junior. “What’s the little game

“The — er -- little game?“ stammered Billy.

“Yes. You were reading something, and you popped it oat of sight the moment I came in. I suppose “. Bob Cherry’s lace grew extremely severe—“ I suppose it’s one of those cheap American novels about Deadwood Bill, the Bronco Buster –“

“No, it isn’t, Cherry; it isn’t really. You know I wouldn’t read that stuff.”

“You would when my fatherly eye isn’t on you.” said Bob Cherry. “What have you got there, then, you young Owl?”

“If you don’t mind, Cherry. I - -I’d rather not show you.”

“Why not ?“

“Well, you see—you see—I expect to make a great deal of word this scheme, and I don’t want to let the whole school into it. But I say, I’ll l yen what I’ll do,” went on Billy Bunter eagerly. “I’ll let you into the scheme on equal shares for and entrance fee of five bob.”

Bob Cherry laughed.

“ What’s the scheme, you young ass?”

“‘Well, you see—“

“Hello, there!” came Harry Wharton ’s voice along the passage, “Are you ever coming out with that ball, Bob Cherry?”

I’m coming !“ called out and Bob, and he picked up his football and turned to the door.

“and I say. Cherry, if you’d like to come into the scheme on those terms——”

“Rats !“ said Bob Cherry cheerfully, and he quitted the study. The chums of the Remove were waiting for him on the stair— Harry Wharton, the captain of the Lower Fourth, Frank Nugent, and Hurree Jamset Ram Singh, the Nabob of Bhanipur.

“Been having a nap ?“ asked Nugent.

The longfulness of the time has been terrific,” remarked the Nabob of Bhanipur .

Bob Cherry grinned.

“It was that ass Bunter. He’s got some scheme on for making money, and be wanted me to take a five-bob share in it.”

‘ By Jove! I thought he’s had something on lately.” said Harry Wharton, laughing. “ He has been looking mysterious all day, and dropping hints of the feeds he is going to stand later on. What is the cherne?”

“I don’t know. That’s a secret, at least, until the entrance fee is paid over and that means for ever, as far as I’m concerned,” said Bob Cherry. “1 haven’t any tin to waste. I don’t know what the scheme is, but if it keeps him off the ventriloquism it will come as a boon and a blessing lo No. 1 Study. I was getting fed up with his ventriloquial practice.”

The chums of the Remove went out together into the Allies. Afternoon school was over, and in the fine, keen October whether most of the Greyfriars fellows had turned out upon the football field.

Bob Cherry dropped the football and punted it along across the Close. A fat junior, with a good-humourcd, Teutonic face, was coming from the direction of the Cloisters, Bob Cherry grinned as he saw them.

“Hallo, hallo , hallo! There’s Hoffman,” he exclaimed. “By Jove, so it is ! I wonder he wants here ?” said Harry Wharton.

“I don’t know what he wants’ grinned Bob Cherry; “but I know what he’s going to get.’

What’s that ?“

‘A goal.”

And Bob Cherry dribbled the ball towards the German junior. The charms of the Remove followed him, laughing.

Fritz Hoffman had until lately been a member of the Greyfriars Remove, but since the opening of Herr Rosenblaum’s Foreign Academy he had gone “ over the way”. The new academy had been built on Greyfriars grounds and was separated from the old school on one side simply by the Cloisters, which were used by both schools in common. Herr Rosenblaum’s people’s, mostly sons of foreigners resident in England, were on terms of rivalry with Greyfriars.

Fritz Hoffman was coming towards the Famous Four, and he stopped as they advanced towards him. Perhaps he did not want to get too far from the Cloisters, in case a retreat was necessary.

“Ach !“ he began. “I tinks I speaks to you.—”

“Look out in goal !” road Bob Cherry.

“Himmel ! Vat ! Ow !‘

Bob Cherry kicked the ball.

Right on Fritz Hoffman’s chest the football plumped, and the German junior was bowled over like a ninepin.

He sat up, and gazed about him with an expression of such absolutely idiotic bewilderment that the Removites burst into a roar.

“Ach! I tinks tat I have been knock over, aint it?”

“ Ha, ha, ha !“

‘ I tinks tat te feetball knock me ofer pefore.”

“ Ha, ha, ha !”

Hoffman staggered to his feet. Nugent was on the ball by this time, and he kicked it in again, and Hoffman stopped it with his left ear. There was a roar.

“Ach ! Vat is tat after?”

“ Ha, ha, ha !’’

“I tinks tat you kick tat feetball at me for te purpose after, ain’t it?” roared Hoffman. I tinks tat you vant tat I lick you pefore.”

“On the ball, Inky.”

“The onfu1ness of the esteemed ball is terrific, my worthy chum.’

The ball flew again from the foot of the nabob, and Hoffman stopped it with his right ear this time. He spun round like a top.

“Ach ! Tat peastly pounder ! I tinks —“

“Harry! On the ball, there! Kick, you bounder !“

Wharton laughed and stopped the ball, and sent it in again . It biffed on Hoffman’s broad shoulders, and he staggered forward. None of the “biffs” had been hard enough to hurt--the chums took care of that—- but Hoffman was growing extremely confused and excite4 with the attack from all quarters.

“Ach himmel !“ he roared. “ I tinks tat———”

“On the ball “

“Play up there !“

Biff t The ball bumped on the German junior’s ribs, and he ran. He had come over to Greyfriars with a message of defiance from the aliens of the rival school, but he decided undelivered of a sudden to depart with his message uniddivered.

“Ach “ he gasped . “ himmel ! I tinks tat I petter get out pefore, am t it.” And he ran at top speed.

“Play up there !“ roared Bob Cherry. “Pass, you beggars, pass !”

Wharton passed the ball to Bob, who let Hoffman have it again, and the German junior sat down as it bumped upon his knees behind, He was up again in a twinkling, however, and running for the Cloisters. Five or six foreign faces were looking out from the cloisters. Hoffman saw his friends, and ran his hardest.

“Tat we go out and helps him, ain’t it” exclaimed Limburger, one of Hoffmann’s chums. Come on, poys!”

“Hold on !“ exclaimed Adolphe Meunier “Stay here viz yourself, garcons. I zink zat ve collars zat feetba ll in anozzer minute. Keep close viz you.”

The foreign juniors caught on to the idea at once.

The chase of Hoffman was too exciting for the Famous Four to have any eyes for the Cloisters, and they did not see the ambush there. The aliens. promptly crouched out of sight. Hoftmann dashed on, and ran under the old stone arch, and Bob Cherry, who had the ball at his feet, sent it after him with a whiz.

“Goal !“ roared Bob Cherry, as the football plumped up on Hoffmann’s back. “Goal!” The chums of the Remove rushed on to recover the ball. There was a yell from the dusk of the cloisters.

“At zem !”

And half-a-dozen aliens rushed out and hurled themselves a pawn in the Greyfriars chums.

THE SECOND CHAPTER.

The Aliens do not Score.

“Look out!“ shouted Harry Whinrton.

But the warning came too late.

The aliens, with the surprise and the odds on their side, fairly rushed the Greyfriars juniors off their feet, and they went sprawling, with the aliens sprawling over them.

“Sock it to zem’ roared Adolphe Meuntier.

‘ Giff dem peastlv socks ! ” roared Limburger.

“Ach ! g asped Hoffman.‘Tat is goot. I tinks tat I collars te pall, ain’t it ?“

And Fritz Hoffman kicked the ball in towards the academv grounds, and the other aliens followed him in, laughing. The Greyfriars chums staggered to their feet, looking somewhat dazed and dusty.

Adolphe Meunier turned to kiss his hand at them ere he vanished from the clusters into the grounds of the new college.

“My hat !” exclaimed Nugent. “They’ve collared our ball!”.

“The callarfulness is terrific.”

Harry Wharton burst into a laugh.

“ it's tit for tat,” he exclaimed. “I didn’t see that there were any of the rotters in the clusters.”

“Neither did I,” Bob Cherry remarked ruefully. “I say, we’re not going to be done. We’ve not t to get that ball back.”

“Four against four dozen,” said Harry, with a shrug of the shoulders.

“Well, let’s have a look, anyway.”

The chums of the Remove hurried on after the aliens. The latter had passed the bronze gate in the high brick wall which bounded the grounds of the academy. The gate was usually open, to give access to the shady cloisters, but Meunier had shut it now, and fastened it on the inside . Through the bars O. F. the gate the aliens grinned gleefully and triumphantly at the Greyfriars juniors.

“Ha, ha, ha ! laughed Adolphe Meunier. “I zink zat ve takes vat you English call ze cake, mes amis.”

“Ve have te pall, at all evenk,” grinned Fritz Hoffman.

“You keeck te pall at mc, but I have capture te pall pefore, ain’t it?”

“Zat is not correct, Hoffman. It is I zat have capture ze ball.”

“Himmel! Vat you do? You do nozzing, Adolphe Meunier.”

“I zink zat--— “

“I tink tat—”

“Sherman ass! Shut up viz yourself vhilo Frenchman speak—”

“French peastly pounder I tinks tat you shuts up mit you, ain’t it.”

“Sherman rottair !“

“ French peeg !”

Adolphe Meunier rushed at the German. Hoffman, no worries disinclined to meet him, put up his fists. In a moment they were at it hammer and tongs. It was the Removites turn to grin as they looked through the gate.

“ Go it, Froggy!”

“Buck up, Hoffy !“

The aliens gathered round the two combatants in great excitement. There were about equal numbers of French and German boys in Herr Rosenblaum’s academy, and the rivalry between them was very keen. There was always a Franco-German war going on, and if it ever ceased it was when the aliens combined in some row with the British are “Over the way “——in Greyfriars.

“But, I say, we want our ball,” muttered Bob Cherry.

“ Look, there it is. I wonder——“

He paused. The football was lying where Hoffman had dropped it when he faced the French junior in combat. It had rolled a few yards from the competence, and no one on the spot had eyes for it. They were all too keenly interested in the fight .

Harry Wharton glanced at his churns.

“What are you thinking of, Bob?”

‘I was thinking that one of us might nip over the gate and get that ball while they’re slogging one another,” grinned Bob Cherry. “The gate’s easy enough to climb. As a matter of fact, I’ve climbed it once already.”

“We shall be chipped to death by the other fellows if we allow the aliens to keep our footer,” Nugent remarked.

“The chipfulness will be terrific.”

Harry Wharton nodded.

“ It’s a good idea, Bob, only the chap who goes might be collared.”

“ I'll risk that.”

Bob Cherry threw off his cap and grasped the bars of the gate. It was easy for the active and athletic junior to draw himself up to the top— easy to swing over to the inner side. The danger was that he might be collared by the aliens.

But as yet he was not seen. The combat between Meurnier and the German was growing terrific. The juniors were crowded round in a circle, looking on, and cheering the combatants in a babel of French and German. Bob Cherry dropped to the ground, and scudded to the spot where the ball lay. In a twinkling it was in his hands.

Then there was a sudden ye11 from Limburger.

“Look out! Te enemy “

Nugent gave a gasp.

“They’ve seen him They’ll collar him now !”

Harry Wharton, with a set face, climbed to the top of the gate. Bob Cherry’s eyes glinted as a dozen aliens rushed upon him. Meunier and Hoffman were still fighting, but the spectators had turned their attention to the bold intruder.

The Removites dropped the footer, and, as it rose, kicked it. It was a splendid drop kick, as neat as any seen on a rugger field, and it saved the ball. It flew over the heads of the aliens, over the gate and dropped almost in Nugent’s hands. The ball was but Bob Cherry?

“Collar te peast !“ roared Limburger.

Bob Cherry done just desperately, and a dozen hands slid off him without a hold. He ran for the gate. Twice he was seized and held—twice he broke away, and then his grasp was on the gate. But then the aliens closed up in force and hands gripped at him from all sides.

“Collar te pounder !“

“Zat you seize him !‘

“Ciel ! I have ze peast !“

‘ Himmel! I tinks tat I catch him.”

Bob Cherry clung to the gate with both hands. With a desperate effort he tried to drag himself up. Harry Wharton leaned down and seized his hand in a hard grip.

“ Now, Bob “

He pulled, and Bob Cherry shook himself loose for a second. Nugent and Hurree Singh were hitting through the bars of the gate, and more than one alien nose and eye came in for a powerful drive.

Hoffman and Meunier separated at last. They saw how things were going, and they dashed forward to help in making a prisoner of the Greyfriars junior.

‘ Hold him “ shrieked Adolphe Meunier. “Zat you sees him.”

“Collar te peastly pounder,” gasped Hoffman.

Wharton and Cherry made a simultaneous effort. Bob was dragged up, and obtained a grip on the top of the gate. Hoffman clutched at him, and a reeled back from Bob Cherry’s boot., which clumped heavily on his chin. One more effort, and the gasping, breathless Removite was on the gate.

Wharton helped him over, and he dropped exhausted on the Greyfriars said . Nugent picked him up.

“Steady, Bob, old chap.”

“ I—I’ m winded “ panted Bob Cherry. “ but we — we’ve done them.”

“ Come on !” exclaimed Harry Wharton. “ they’ll be through the gate in a second.”

Meunier was already unfastening the gate.

With the ball under Nugent’s arm, the Famous Four sprinted through the Cloisters towards the Close, and they were safely of reach peak for the aliens could crowd through the gate.

The excited foreigners pursued them as far as the end of the Cloisters, but further than that they did not venture to go, for a score of the Remove were rallying to the spot now, attracted by the noise.

The Famous Four stopped, gasping for breath.

“That was a narrow squeak,” said Bob Cherry, scarlet with his exertions. “We’ve done the giddy aliens, anyway.”

“The donefulness is terrific.”

“I say, what’s the row?“ asked Bulstrode , of the Remove.

“Oh, they captured our ball; we’ve got it back, that’s all.’

“Let’s go for them, and wipe up the Cloisters with them.”

“Good wheeze. Come on!’

And half the Remove rushed towards the Cloisters, but the aliens did not stop to face the rush. They crowded back into their own quarters, and the gate was shut and fastened once more. The Removites rattled and shook it, and yelled all sorts of personalities between the bars, but the gate did not open. The aliens yelled back, and, as they were rather stronger in that line, they had the best of the war yells. The Removites retired at last, followed by a screech of mockery from the aliens.

“I tink tat ve have lost tat pall,” said Fritz Hoffman. “I tinks, too, tat is te fault of tat French ass Meunier.”

“I zink zat. it is ze fault of zat Sherman peeg Hoffmann,” said Meunier.

“Is it tat you have not had enoff of to trashing pefore?” demanded Hoffmann.

“I never have enoff of ze trashing zat you can give me,” said Meunier. “I zink zat I vipes up ze ground viz you.”

‘ Ach! French peast !“

“Sherman cochon !‘

And in a moment more they were fighting again, cheered on by a tangled jargon of German and French from their compatriots.

THE THIRD CHAPTER.

Billy Bunter’s New Idea.

“I SAY, you fellows—.”

“ Tea ready?” asked Bob Cherry, slinging a dusty football across the study as he came into No. 1.

“No, Cherry, tea isn’t ready. You see ——“

“Yes, I see that it’s not ready,” grunted Bob Cherry. “What do you mean, you young duffer. Have you scoffed all the tommy?”

“Well, perhaps I’ve had a snack,” said Billy Bunter. “You see, I’ve been too busy to get tea, but I had to have a snack, or my constitution would have suffered. You fellows had better have tea in all this evening, as I haven’t any time to cook, and, as a matter of fact, there isn’t anything to cook.”

“Nothing to cook! Why, Wharton gave you two bob to lay in the grub.”

“ Oh, yes, I know he did,” said Bunter, blinking at the chums through his big glasses. “I know he did, Cherry, but .—“

“Well, where is the tommy—“

“You see, I’ve got a new scheme on –“

“Where is the tommy ?“

“I’ve got a new scheme on for making money—”

“ Where is the tommy ?“ roared Bob Cherry, seizing the Owl of the Remove by the collar and shaking him. “ Where is it, you young cormorant?”

“I wish you wouldn’t shake me like that, Bob Cherry. It disturbs my nerves –“

“ Where is the tommy”

“And, besides, you might make my glasses fall off, and if they got broken I should expect you to pay for them.’

“Are you going to answer me

“Ain’t I answering you? As I said, I’ve got a new scheme—’

“Where is the Tommy?“

“Oh, the tommy ! There isn’t any.”

“ Didn’t you get it at the tiickhop ?“

‘ Yes,” said Billy Bunter, blinking, “I got it at the tuckshop. Wharton gave me two shillings to get some grub for tea at the talk show up, and I should not be likely to spend the money for anything else, I hope.”

“Well, where is the grub, then ?“

“ You see, as I’ve got a scheme on for making money, I thought I’d better get something that didn’t require cooking, as I should have no time to cook.”

“Well, where is it? That’s what I keep on asking you.’

“So I bought cold sausages, ham sandwiches, and jam roll.”

“By Jove, that’s all right, and I’m as hungry as a hunter !’ said Bob Cherry.

“The hungerfulness is terrific.”

“And I had some bananas, too, for Inky.——”

“Good, my worthy chum.”

“And a couple of those little cakes that Wharton likes——”

“ Well, where are they?” said Harry, laughing.

There was no sign of the provisions anywhere in the study, and the fire was out, the table unlaid.

“Well, you see, as they didn’t require cooking—“

“Al l the better, as we’re in a. hurry,” said Nugent. “Where are they ? ”

“I’m sincerely sorry, but— but—”

“My hat! The young villain has wolfed them !‘

“I’m sincerely sorry

“He’s scoffed the lot !“

“You see, I thought I had better have a snack to keep up my strength, and, and I suppose I went on eating abentmindedly, and-and —“

“And travelled through the lot?”

“I suppose I must have done so,” corlfc?ssecI Bunter. “I remember leaving Inky’s bananas till the last, but they’re gone now. I get so hungry, you know, and I’m working out a scheme for making money —“

Harry Wharton burst into a laugh.

“It’s all right; we’ll have tea in hall,” he said. “ We’re not too late, as it happens. But of all the young cormorants-“

“I don’t think you ought to call me names, Wharton, when I’m working out a scheme for making us all rich.”

“Ha, ha, ha !“

“ Well, not exactly rich, but it will put money in our pockets, if it works out all right. Money or moneys worth— it’s all one.”

“If the hurryfulness is an not immediate, we shall be late for the teaful refreshments the esteemed HalL”

“Right you are, Inky; come on :“

“But, I say, you fellows—”

“Oh, rats, Billy ! We can’t stop, or we shall lose our tea.

“I wish you fellows didn’t think such a thundering lot about your meals,” said Billy Bunter. “Blessed if you’re not always thinking of eating !”

“Why, you young bounder, you’ve had your tea— and ours, too as a matter of fact.”

‘I’rn willing to take you all into my scheme, on an entrance fee of five bob each,” said Bunter, following the Farnous Four out of the study. If you like to stump up a sharing each, you come into the scheme on equal terms.”

“More rats !’

“With my ability in guessing the answer, we can’t fail to scoop in the whole show.”

“Guessing the what?”

“The answers—the names, you know,”

“Is it a competition?”

“and Dear me, I’ve let it out now. Of course, you fellows will keep it dark.”

“Ha, ha, ha!”

“If you like to stand five bob each, I’ll let you into the whole thing,” said Bunter, following the Removites down the staircase with his generous affer. ‘ I really don’t want to keep it to myself, and, as a matter of fact, it requires some capital, and I’m rather short of ready money at the present moment. I’ve been disappointed about a postal-order, and—“

But the chums of the Remove had gone into the dining-hall. Bulstrode was coming in from the Close, and Billy Bunter hurried towards him.

“I say, Bulstrode——”

“Don’t bother”

“I’ve got a new scheme-

“ Buzz off !“

‘ If you like to stand me five bob—”

“I’ll stand you a thick ear if you bother inc

And Bulstrode walked on. Billy Bunter blinked after him indignantly. Levison came in, and Bunter, turning round, ran into him.

“Hallo, Skinner! I’m sincerely sorry—”

“It isn’t. Skinner,” said Levison, gripping the back of Billy’s collar and shaking him; ‘ It’s Levison. Why don’t you look where you’re going?’

“ I’m a little short-sighted —“

“You Owl! You trod on my foot ! ”

“ I am sincerely sorry, Levison; but I’m glad I’ve met you, too. Would you like to know an easy way of making money

“ No, I wouldn’t !“ said Levison; and he strode on.

‘‘My word t” murmured Billy Bunter . Fancy a keen, cute chop like Levison turning up his nose at an easy way of making money ! I can’t undertand it. I say, Russel! Stop a minute; Russell, will you?”

“I’m not rustle, ass; I’m Hazeldenp.”

“Oh, is it you, Vaseline? It was really you I wanted to see. I’ve got a new scheme on for making money, but it requires little capital.”

Hazeldean grinned.

“Better wait till your postal-order comes, then, Bunty.”

“Well, I’ve been disappointed about a postal-order said Billy Bunter, ‘ I’m expecting another on Saturday, but I don’t want to wait till then to work the scheme, What I mean is, I want to start at once. I’m thinking of taking a

number of fellows into the scheme on equal shares at five bob h.”

“Ha, ha, ha!”

“It’s not a joke, Hazeldean. If you like to stump up five bob——”

“If!” said Hazeldene. “Jolly big ‘if,’ isn’t it?”

“ Well, really, Vaseline, it’s a good scheme—with my ability in. Where are you going?”

“I’m going in to tea.”

“But I haven’t explained my scheme.”

“Don’t trouble, Billy; explaining it to somebody else.”

“Oh, really, Vaseline——-—”

Hazeldean laughed and walked away. Billy Bunter slowly and discontentedly took his way up to study No. 1, Hp was certain of cornering the chums of the Remove there when they came up after tea to do their preparation.

He drew a paper from his pocket, and began to con over a set of pictures in it, and make pencil notes . He was still thus engaged when the door of the study was thrown open, and the four chums came in.

“I say, you fellows –“

“Oh, don’t” said Bob Cherry imploringly. “We don’t want to make our fortunes. We’re not yearning to get rich quick. We don’t want any shares in a new scheme, even at the low price of five bob, with a reduction for quantities,”

“Oh, really, Cherry—”

“Peace, my son! Can’t you see that your uncle is going to do his prep. ?“

“Yes; but this is really an important matter, you know,” said Billy Bunter. “If I hadn’t been disappointed about a postal-order, I shouldn’t let you into it at all. As it is, I must have working capital.”

“To blow at the tuck-shop?”

“Certainly not. You see, I’m thinking of buying up a lot of copies of the paper, and sending in lots of answers. “that’s the scheme. With my splendid talents

“Your what?”

“My splendid talent for guessing answers, I haven’t the slightest doubt -of walking off with all the prizes —“

“The splendidfulness of the esteemed Bunter’s rotten talents is only an equalled by the modesty of his conceitfulness,” remarked and the nabob. “ If our web site and Bunterful chum would leave off talking, we could commencefully begin our honourable prep.”

‘This is a more important matter than prep., Inky. I thought you fellows took an interest in football.”

“Foolball ! What has your scheme to do with football?”

“ It’s a football competition .”

“Oh, I see,” said Bob Cherry, showing some interest at last. “I don’t mind if I have a look at it, then an. No five bob shares, though.”

“Well, perhaps I’d better explain the thing, and you’ll see it’s a good scheme to go into,’ said Billy Bunter thoughtfully. “With my ability –“

“Oh, never mind your ability: Where’s the competition ?”

“You sep, it’s a competition to guess the names of famous footballers, from pictures representing them,” explained Billy Bunter. ‘ With my ability——”

“Oh, I know. I’ve entered competitions of that kind, and they’re jolly good fun,” said Bob Cherry. - “ There’s one starting in a paper I take every week, and I was thinking of going in for it. What’s your paper?”

The ‘ Gem.’

“The what?”

“ The ‘Gem.’ “

“Why, that’s my paper, too !“ said Bob Cherry ina. “That’s the competition I was thinking of going in and for, only I haven’t seen this week’s number yet with the pictures in.”

“ Oh, really, Cherry and—”

“And is that your new scheme—to go in for the football competition in the Gemi ‘

“You see—”

“ Yes, I see a howling duffer.”

“It’s a ripping idea. If you fellows stand five bob each, I shall be able to buy up a heap of copies of the paper. How many penny papers can you get for a sovereign, Nugent ?”

‘Blessed if I know !“

“Wait a minute; I’ll work it out on paper. Twenty time as twelve are—“

“ Don’t trouble,” said Bob Cherry, grinning. ‘ you’re not likely to have the sovereign”

“Oh, yes, if you four fellows subscribe five bob each.”

“Yes, if we do ; but we sha’n’t.”

“You’re wasting a good chance. With capital and to get a large number of the papers, so as to send in lots of answers,

And with my splendid ability at guessing the right answers, there’s not the slightest reason why we shouldn’t scoop in the whole of the prizes.”

“ Well, we don’t want to be greedy you know,” grinned Bob Cherry; “ and although the capital might be forthcoming I’m not so sure about the splendid ability.”

“Oh, you can rely on me for—’

“For gas— yes. I haven’t had the ‘Gem ‘ this week yet and if you’ve got your copy, just and it over and let’s have a look at the pictures.”

“Oh, really, Cherry, unless--“

“Hand it over, old chap, and don’t jaw.”

And Billy Bunter drew and a well-thumbed copy of the current number and of the ‘Gem’ from under his jacket, and handed and it over to Bob Cherry.

THE FOURTH CHAPTER.

The Football Competition.

Bob CHERRY opened the paper at the competition page, and spread out the sheet of pictures. Nugent, Hurree Singh, and Harry and Wharton looked over his shoulders with great interest. For the moment and prep. was forgotten.

“ Here they are”,” remarked Bob Cherry. “Have you guessed and any of those, Bunter?”

“Oh, yes, I have guessed most of the first set,” said Billy Bunter. “They’re hard enough, some of The them, but with my ability—”

“ Let’s have a look,” said Nugent. “H’m! These pictures and represent the names of well-known footballers. That’s a jolly good idea for a competition.”

“First picture a hand and the word ‘Ley.’ I see the answer’s filled in. Handley. Second picturc.— What’s that ?“

“ A hod ,” said Nugent.

A picture of a hod, and a lot of capital letters. Blessed if I know what to make of it.”

“They’re G’s,” said Harry Wharton.

Yes, I know they’re G s, said Bob Cherry. The trouble is, what do they mean. Have you guessed that one, Billy”

“Oh, yes, I guessed that at a glance.”

“What’s the answer?”

“Well, I don’t see how I can give it away to you chaps, if you’re going in for the Competition, too.”

“Don’t, then,”

“Oh. I don’t mind “ said Bunter loftily. There are to be a lot more sets of the pictures, and you’ll never guess them without my assistance. I may as well tell you these few, just to encourago you.”

The encouragefullness will be terrific.”

“Well, that second picture represents Hodletters.”

“ Hodletters !”

“Yes.”

“Is that the name of a footballer?”

“Of course it is.”

“It doesn’t sound like real name to me,” said Bob Cherry suspiciously, I’ve never heard of a footballer of that name.”

“Neither have I,” said Harry, laughing,

“Have you heard of a footballer named Hodletters, Billy?”

“Well, no; but there are a lot of footballers whose names I haven’t hurt, of course.”

“No doubt; but why do you think that there’s one named Hodletters!”

“You see what the editor says—each of these pictures represents the name of well-known footballer. That picture can’t represent anything but footballers, and therefore there must be a footballer named Hodletters and it’s impossible to doubt what the editor says in plain print,”

You shrieking ass!

“Oh, really, Cherry –“

“The picture represents something else— say, Hodges.”

“ Hodges? ”

“ Yes. Hod—see? -- and ‘G ‘s—Hodges.”

Billy Bunter shook his head.

“I’d rather stick to my solution, Cherry.”

“Hodletters isn’t the name of a human being , you shrieking duffert”

“It must be, or it wouldn’t be in the competition.”

“ But it isn’t in the competition!“ shrieked Bob Cherry. ‘ This picture isn’t Hodletters—it’s Hodges”

“You can stick to your opinion that if you like, Cherry, and I’ll stick to mine. We’ll jolly well see who’s right when the aiuwers are published.”

“Oh, ring off. Billy, or you’ll the death of me !“ said Nugent.

“ What’s the next picture?”

“A ‘B,’ “ said Bob Cherry. “The first’s a ‘B’—lake, you know.”

“And then there’s a tube of paint.”

“Beepaint. And that’s no good; It doesn’t sound like an aim”

“I say, you fellows, you’re all wrong t”

“And what’s the answer, Billy?”

“ It’s Lettertube, of course.”

“ Its what?”

“Lettertube. That’s the name of a well-known footballer. I’ve seen it in the papers, I believe. See?”

“No, I don’t. 1 think you’re au ass !“

“What do you think, Nugent”

“Same as Bob.”

“You ass, Billy !“ said Bob Cherry. “It’s Bee—Lake,”

“I’ve never heard of a football are named Beelake.”

“Ass! B-la,ke—Blake.”

“Oh, Blake! Is that the name of a footballer?”

“Of course it is. I remember seeing a break and play outside left for Stockton once, when I was on a holiday in the North.”

“Well, it may be Blake,” said Billy Bunter. ‘ But don’t you see, that’s where the advantage of my scheme comes in? It may be Blake, or it may be Lettertube –“

‘ Rats !“

“Oh, let me finish, Cherry ! It may be Blake, or be Lettertube” or perhaps it may be a lot of other things. Now, if we work out my scheme, we can send in sets of the pictures, and every possible name can go in. Then we’re absolutely certain of collaring the prizes.”

“Unless we happen to overlook one name—”

“Oh, with my ability—”

“More rats! What’s the next?”

“The word wed-”

“Wed? And that thing’s a lock”

“That one’s plain enough,” said Billy Bunter. “That’s MacLuckie.”

“It’s what?” shouted Bob Cherry.

“ MacLuckie,”

“MacLuckie’s a footballer,” said Nugent. “I’ve And heard the uame—in connection with Aston Villa, I think. But how Billy makes it out –“

“You can do anything with a brain like mine,” said Bunter modestly. “That picture’s MacLuckie. I saw it at a glance. You see, the word wed means wed –“

“Go hon!”

“And the lock means lock-——”

“Did you work that out in your head, Billy?”

“Without the aid of a net!” asked Nugent.

“Oh, don’t be funny! You see how it’s worked out into MacLuckie now?”

“No, I’m blessed if I do.”

“Well, I must say you chaps are dense,” said Billy Bunter, in disgust. Not much good your going in for a football competition without me to help you guess the answers. The word wed means wed——”

“You’ve told us that before.”

“It means marrying—see? And the lock signifies that when you’re married, you’re married and done for—I mean, fixed. Do you see now? And that makes you lucky. See?”

“No, I don’t quite see yet.”

“Oh, I say, you fellows, you are dense! Don’t you see— a man’s lucky to he married—at least, in stories. Make— lucky. See? MacLucke!”

‘Make MacLuckie” said Bob Cherry seriously. “MacMake Luckie!”

“Oh, really, Cherry! A fellow’s lucky to be married. Suppose, for instance, that his wife’s a good cook? Make Lucky—”

“Make who lucky ?“

“Anybody !“ yelled Billy Bunter. “ Don’t you see? If a thing makes you lucky—”

“What thing?”

“Oh, dear, I believe you’re only rotting.”

“But who’s lucky?”

“MacLuckie. See? Wedlock—to make lucky. Make Lucky—Mac Luckie. See?”

“Do you see, Nugent?”

“I’m afraid I don’t. In the first place, I think Bunter ought to explain him it is he means is lucky”

‘‘ I don’t mean anybody——’’

“Then you’re talking out of your hat !“

“ Look here, you fellows, that picture means MacLuckie.

I believe you’re only rotting, and you know what I’ve been all the time.’’

“The knowfullness is great“ chuckled the nabob. “ But the fatheadedness g the esteemed solution is terrific !“

“Ha, ha, ha “ roared Bob Cherry.

“Do you see it now, Cherry?”

“ I see that you’re a howling ass, Bunty. The answer’s wedlock, of Cuui’se course.”

“I don’t think anything of the kind.”

“Well, let’s get on the next picture. Billy Bunter’s solutions will give me a pain if there’s many more of them. What’s the next?“

“There’s a picture of a mill—”

“Yes. it’s a coffee-mill, you fellows!”

“We shouldn’t be likely to mistake it for a water-mill, Billy. And there’s the syllable ‘er’ –“

“Yes, that’s plain enough.”

“What do you make it out to be, with your splendid ability! I think it’s pretty easy, myself.”

Oh. it’s plainer than the other; it’s MiIander.”

“Milander?

“Yes, Mill— and.----er, . see?”

“Yes, I see, but is there a footballer named Milander?”

“Of course there is ! Doesn’t the editor say that each picture of represents a—”

“Ass ! Suppose it’s Miller?’

“ Miller! H’m ! Well, it might be Miller.”

“I think it might,’ said bob Cherry. ‘ In fact, I think it’s pretty certain. Now for the last of the bunch ! I say, this is getting pretty interesting.”

“There’s a leg—-”

“Only the knee. And a letter D.”

“And a ham,” said Billy Bunter. “ That reminds me, you fellows, Mrs. Mimble has some lovely ham jut now. And if you’d like me to cut down to the school shop, and get you some , I wouldn’t mind in the least taking the

trouble’.”

“I dare say you wouldn’t,” said Bob Cherry: ‘ but I think we’ll wait till your postal order comes. Meantime, about this giddy picture——”

‘ I can’t quite figure it out, yet,” said Nugent.

“ And you, Harry’’

“ I don’t think I’ve quite got on to it.”

“ I can tell you, if you like, you you fellows .”

“Well, what isn’t, Billy?

“Legget, of course !”

“How do you make it out, then”

“ Why, that's a leg, and ham is a thing that you eat, you know – Leggett”

“ Leggett, rats! Is Legett the name of a footballer ?“

“It must be. The editor says——“

“And what about the letter D?”

“Oh, that’s shocked in by mistake, I expect.”

“I expect it isn’t. We shall have to give that one up for a bit. We’re going in for this, ? eh, you chaps”

“Yes rather !“ said Harry Wharton.

“We stand as much chance as anybody else, if we don’t let Bunter help us –“

“Oh, really, Cherry “

“But we’d better get on with our prep. now, I’m thinking, or there will be ructions with the Quelch-bird in the morning.’’

And for the time the guessing was laid aside.

THE FIFTH CHAPTER.

Aliens In Council.

“MEIN friends—”

“Mess amis’

“1 tinks tat I speaks if you be silent, Adolphe Meunier.”

“I zink zat I speak, Fritz Hoffman. Ze Frenchman always come before ze Sherman.”

“Te Frenchman get a tick ear if lie not shot up“

“I zink zat you get ze zick ear.”

“Nein, nein.’ shut up mit you !“ exclaimed Limburger. “ It is enoff of fighting tat tere has been, ain’t it? I tink ve neet to hold council of war.”

“Tat French peast interrupt me—”

“Zat Sherman rottair interrupt me—”

“Let zere be peace,” said Alphonse Lerougc. “Ve must Stand by one anozzer to get level viz ze Greyfriars garcons.”

“Zat is correct.

“ “ I tinks tat you vas right ain’t it?”

“We leave our own quarrels to later,” said Lerouge.

“Zat is no mattair. Ve have ze hønour of ze academy to uphold.”

“Goot!”

“I zink zat I agree viz Hoffman zere.”

“Let zere be peace,” said Lerouge. “I move zat our friend, Meunier, makes ze peace viz our friend Hoffman, and zat zey embrace.”

It was a crowded meeting in the Common-Room of the Foreign Academy.

The aliens were almost all there, and very excited.

They had had a chance of scoring off the Greyfriars fellows that day, but the chance had passed, on to the untimely outbreak of the Franco-German war.

Now the meeting was being held, well attended by both parties, for the purpose of laying plans to bring the Greyfriars Juniors “ off their perch,” and put them in their place.

It was pretty clear that nothing could be effected so long as the aliens were raggmg one another on racial differences, and they had determined to pull toether for the important purpose of crushing Greyfriars. But how long the unity would last was a difficult question to answer.

Lerouge’s suggestion was greeted with cheers.

The excitable foreigners were as ready to fight as to make friends:, and as ready to embrace as to fight; in fact, they were ready for anything that called for a show of emotion of some sort.

“I move,” repeated Lerouge, encouraged by the end using a some which his suggestion evoked, “ I move zat our belofed friend, Meunier, ms our equally belofed friend, Hoffman, and zat zere is peace and union.”

“

“Vive Lerouge?’

“ I second tat motion.” Said Limburger. ‘ Tat are belofed friend Hoffman msr belofed friend Meunier, and tat ve all be goot friends and allies, till ve have knock down and crush te Greyfriars peegs.“

“I agree viz zat,” said Meunier. “ I zink zat I have great respect for Hoffman, and also for Shermany.”

“Mit all my heart,’’ beamed Hoffman. “I tink tat I lofe Meunier, and zat I have te great admiration for te France.”

‘‘Zat I embrace you, my shum.”

“Tat I also embraces you, mein friend.”

And they forthwith embraced.

The aliens cheered the embrace ecstatically. Hoffman hugged Meunier, and Meunier kissed Hoffman on both cheeks, and the crowd clapped their hands joyfully. The Franco-German feud was healed again—for a time.

“And now,” said Hoffman, ‘‘ I tinks tat ve puts our heads togedder, ain’t it, and tinks out te tlan for to knock down te Greyfriars pounders.’

“I zink zat also,” said Lerouge.

“Messieurs” began Meunier, with an important air, “I zink Z. at I have ze plan.”

“ Zat you speaks him, zen,”

“ Nou, nou ! I have ze plan, but I zink zat my friend Hoffman have perhaps ze better vun, and I vait for my belofed Fritz to speak.”

Fritz Hoffman shook his head.

“ I stands pack for my belofed Adolphe to speak.”

“Non, non- -“

“Ja, ja —“

“ I insist upon my dear Fritz speaking first.”

“ I Insists upon my belofed Adolphe speaking first.”

‘My dear Fritz –“

“My dear Adolphe— “

“Ze vun zat have ze plan speak first” said Lerouge; and this brilliant suggestion was greeted with acclamation.

“I have no plan pefore,” said Hoffman. “ I tink tat if I tink I soon tink out a plan, but I tink tat I have not tink yet, ain’t it: so I tink ve hear vat Meunier tink.”

“Tat is right,” said Limburger. “ Vat you tink, Meunier”

“If my friend Fritz giff me permission zat I speak first –“

‘ I entreat you, my dear Adolphe.”

“ Zen if my dear Fritz entreat, I speak.”

“Goot ! Ve listen mit all te ears. Gentlemen, I, for te silence while our goot and and noble friend Adolphe speakes mit himself.”

“Mes amis,” said Meunier; “at ze entreaty of ze belofed friend Fritz, I speak as a first.”

“ Vive Meunier!”

“ Vive Hoffman ! ’

‘ Pravo !“

And some of the aliens, deeply touched , shed tears of sensibility upon one another’s shoulders at the sight of this concord between the old rivals and.

“ I say zat I have a plan.” said Meunier. “ I zink zat it is not so good a plan as my belofed friend Fritz vould zink of, if be zought about it—”

“Ja. ja!” said Hoffman. ‘Not at all, my clear Adolphe,”

“ Oui, oui, I insist, my dear Fritz.”

I tink tat you tink a petter plan tan I tink, Adolphe.”

“ I zink zat you zink ze better plan, my Fritz.”

“Nein, nein.”

‘Non,

“Ve have not heard te plan yet,” said Limburger.

“Zat is correct. I go on viz ze plan and. You are all avare, mes ami, zat ze Greyfriars rottairs get ze better of us zis afternoon. I zink zat ve avenge ze honair of ze academy by going into ze Close and licking zem in vun big fight; but I zink, also, zat zey are more used to ze fist zan ve are, so zat not a good plan.”

“ Non, non.”

“And also ze English boys not fight viz ze feet, as ve do and zey call it cowardly to keeck vun in a fight, or scratcli m—vich is all nonsense.”

“Ferry mooch nonsense.”

“All ze same, ze English have ze advantage of ze fist, and ve have ze advantage of ze clevair brain, I zink, mes amis.”

“Tat is right pefore.”

“Zerefore I zink out a plan zat vill put zem in zeir place, and make zem vat so English call sing small viz zemselves.”

“Vive Meunier “

“Hoch! Pravo !’

‘ I zink zat zis is ze plan. Ve vill crush zem, rnes amis— ve vill crush zem! But not viz ze fist and not viz ze keek — ve vill crush zem viz ze contempt.”

“Viz wat, mon ami?”

“Mit vat, Meunier?’

“Viz ze contempt,” said Meunier. “Ve takes our little valks in an ze cloisters, and in ze Close of Greyfriars— but vc not enters into any fights viz zem. Ven ve meets a Greyfriars garcon ve shrugs up ze shoulders like zis,”— here Meunier shrugged his shoulders almost up to his ears and— ‘And zen ve turns our back on him like zat,”—and here Meunier swung round on his heel—” I zink zat zat make zem sing small mes amis.”

“Py Chorge!” said Hoffman‘ I tinks tat tat is te most excellent plan tat it is possible to tink of. Ve not enters into any rows mit dem, but ve treats tem mit fearfu1 contempt.”

“Ach !“ said Limburgor. “I tink tat ve owe our friend Meunier a vote of tanks for tinking of tat splendid plan.”

“ Vive; Meunier !“

“Pravo!”

“ It is vat te English poys call ripping pefore,” said Hoffmann, beaming with delight. “Ven ve meets zem, ve shrugs up te shoulders like tat “

“Ciel! Zat vill make zem feel ferry small !’

“Ten ve turns on te heel like tat “

“Himmel! Tey vill be crush t”

“Ve speaks not a vord; ve simply shrugs up our shoulders like tis, and turns on our heels m tat.”

“Zat is correct. Ve shrugs up our shoulders like zis, and turns on our heels like zat.’

“Pravo !“

“ my dear Adolphe, tat is a petter plan tan any I could efer tink of pefore. I tink tat I embrace my belofcd Adolphe.”

“I zink zat I embrace my dear Fritz.”

And the arrivals embraced again, and the crowd of delighted foreigners embraced each other indiscriminately and wept. And so the great plan [or humbling Greyfriars was formed—but how far it would succeed in crushing the Remove was another question.

THE SIXTH CHAPTER.

On the Warpath!

HARRY WHARTON rose as the chapel bell began to ring, and Bob Cherry set up in bed and rubbed his eyes.

“Up you get!” said Harry. “We’ll get in a little bit of footer practice before breakfast. It’s a ripping morning !”

“Right-ho!” said Bob Cherry, tumbling out of bed. “It’s getting cold of mornings now. Billy Bunter, you young lazy bones, why don’t you get up?”

“It’s so j-jj-jolly cold! ‘ said Bunter. I think I can have another five minutes, Cherry, if I hurry over my washing. After all, a fellow doesn’t need so much washing as all that. I don’t hold with bathing every morning like Wharton. I’m afraid it wouldn’t be good for my constitution.”

“Get up, you’re lazy young grampus!“

“I can have another minute—”

“Would you like a jam Part, Billy ?“

Bunter set up and groped for his spectacles.

“Yes; rather, Cherry. I always wake up hungry, somehow. Hand it over !”

“If you think I’m going to feed you in bed, Bunter –“

“Oh, I don’t mind getting out, com to that,’’ said Bunter; “ I’ve got to some time, I expect, and a jam tart will just give me an appetite for breakfast.” The fat junior rolled out of bed, and shivered.

“Where’s the tart, Cherry?”

“Eh! What tart ?“

“The jam-tart you were going to give me.”

‘ Who said I was going to give you a jam tart?”

“Why, you did !“ howled Bunter. “ where is it, Cherry? Where’s that jam-tart? You said distinctly—”

“I asked you if you would like one,” said bob Cherry. ‘ I suppose a fellow can ask a question, can’t he, without being supposed to have a lot of pastry to give away?”

Billy Bunter blinked at the humorous Bob Cherry with feelings too deep for words. He was inclined to get back into bed again; but the thought that he would have to rise, anyway. In a few minutes, deterred him. It was of no use going through the ordeal of getting out of bed twice. He turned to his washstand, and commenced the ablutions which some of the Remove facetiously the script as a “cat m.’ Billy Bunter was extravagant m some things, but no one had ever accused him of being extravagant with soap and water on a cold morning.

The Famous Four were the first down of the Remove, and they went out into the bright, breezy Close—Bob Cherry with his footer under his arm.

It was a keen October morning, and the chums of the Remove enjoyed a brisk punt about in the Close. They were coining in for breakfast when they sighted Adolphe Meunier. He had to come out of the Cloisters, and was sauntering along in the Close, and apparently did not see the Removites.

“ Hallo. hallo, hallo, there’s Froggy !“ said Bob Cherry. “It would be rather a joke to get a goal, as we did with Hoffman yesterday.”

“The joke fullness would be terrific.”

“ Hold on ,” said Harry Wharton. “‘ There’s something with Meunier. He’s pretending not to see us.”

“Some little game on,” Nugont remarked.

The four juniors watched Meunier curiously. He was walking towards them, but his nose was high in the air, and his glance right past them. He must have seen them, yet he gave no sign of doing so, and came straight on with elaborate unconsciousness

“what on earth is the wbeeze?’ murmured Bob Cherry, in amazement.

“ He’s going to cut as a dead,”

The nabob looked surprised.

“I think not that he is going to cut us, my w chum. He is an esteemed ass. but he would not inflictfully cause the serious damage to his respected enemies,”

Bob Cherry grinned.

“ I mean he’s pretending not to know us, Inky—cut us in that sense.”

“That’s his game ,’ agreed Nugent; what it means –“

“ I say, Meunier—“

“Good-morning, Froggy !“

“How do you carry yourself this morning. mossoo?”

Adolphe Meunier halted and looked at the Removites . as if ca them for the first time, He did not speak. He shrugged up his shoulders to his ears—a proceeding that was witnessed with amusement by the Removites. Then v turned on his heel and walked away. And all without a word.

The chums of the Remove looked at one another.

“Mad “ murmured Bob Cherry.

“Stark mad!” agreed Nugent. “Stark, staring, raving, jabbering insane!’

“The honourable ass is certainfully rightfully off his esteemed rocker,’ the nabob remarked. “There is no other accountfulness of his worthy fatheaded actions.”

Harry Wharton was looking puzzled.

“ Blessed if I quite know what to make of it.” He remarked. “ I suppose Meunier’s got something in his mind, and is working off a new wheeze, but I don’t quite catch on to it.”

They watched Meunier disappear into the Cloisters. Then they went in to breakfast, still wondering at the remarkable proceedings of the French junior.

After breakfast the Greyfriars fellows streamed out into the Close. Fritz Hoffmann was observed strolling by the cloisters, and Harry and Bob walked over to him, with the idea of asking what was the matter with Meunier that morning. Hoffman did not appear to see them coming. He seemed to be intently gazing at the flight of a bird in the sky, and had no eyes for anything else.

“ Hallo, hallo, hallo, Hoffy !“

‘Hello, Hoffmann!“

Hoffman did not lower his glance from the blue sky, and Bob Cherry, considerably amazed at his unusual deftness, gave him a gentle dig in the ribs. Hoffman gasped, and came back to earth again.

“Ach ! Mein Gootness !“

“Hallo, Hoffy! how is your excellent health this fine morning?’ asked Bob Cherry affably.

Hoffman did not reply.

He stared straight at Bob Cherry and then slowly and deliberately shrugged up his plump shoulders till they threatened to dislodge his hat.

The Remove looked at him in amazement.

“Is that a new gymnastic exercise” asked Bob Cherry.

Still Hoffmnn did not speak. He turned around on his heel and walked away. The chums of the Remove gazed after him, and Bob Cherry tapped his forehead.

“Mad !‘ he said. “They’ve all got it, I suppose. Perhaps it’s catching , and Meunier has infected the lot of them.”

Harry Wharton laughed.

“A new wheeze, Bob, that’s all.”

“But what does it mean

“I suppose they fancy that it’s awfully up against us.”

‘Ha, ha, ha!

“That’s the only way I can account for it, anyway.”

“My only hat ! Tlis is too funny t’

“Hallo, what’s the joke’” asked Hazeldcne, joining them.

Harry Wharton explained .

“By Jove, then, that explains it. I just came across that German chap Limburger strolling by the Head’s garden, and the ass shrugged up his shoulders and swung off. I thought he had a pain somewhere, or something.”

“Ha, ha, ha!”

“My only Aunt Maria! Ha, ha, ha !‘

And the chums of the Remove were still chuckling over the absurdity when the bell called them in to morning lessons.

THE SEVENTH CHAPTER.

Want of Capital.

” HANDLEY,” murmured Billy Bunter. “Hodletters, Lettertube—“

“ Bunter !“

“Lettertube—or Beepaint? I wonder if there’s a famous football or named Beepaint? I say, Levison, have you ever heard of a famous footballer named Beepaint?”

“ Bunter!“

Mr. Quelch repeated the word in his sternest tones, and Bunter heard it this time, and gave a,jump. He doubled up his copy of “The Gem” under his jacket, and blinked nervously at the Form master. The Remove were in their class-room, and not supposed to be devoting their attention just then to football competitions, but Billy Bunter had hoped to escape the eagle eye of Mr. Quelch .

‘ Y-e-es, sir! Did you speak to me, sir ?“

“Yes, I did speak to you, Bunter. What is it you have there ?“

“ Here, sir?”

“Yes, there,” said Mr. Quelch, with asperity. “Is it that absurd book on hypnotism again, which you were reading in class the other morning”

“Oh, no, sir. I’ve given up hypnotism, sir.”

“ I am glad to hear it, Bunter, although I have no doubt that you have taken up some other folly in the place of it.”

“Oh, really, sir!”

“What book have you there now?”

“Caesar, sir. De Bello Gallico, sir.”

“I mean, what is the book you were reading, and whispering to Levison about,” said Mr. Quelch severely. “Don’t prevaricate, Bunter,”

“I— I wasn't prevaricating, sir. I wouldn’t do such a thing for worlds. I— I don’t quite know what it is, but 1 wasn’t,—I mean I didn’t--that is, I wouldn’t——”

“Give me that book immediately.”

“What book, sir?”

“The one you were reading,” exclaimed Mr. Quelch. “Any further nonsense, Bunter, and I shall cane you severely. Give me that book at once.”

Billy Bunter unwillingly drew his crumpled “Gem” from under his jacket, and passed it to the Form master. The Remove watched Mr. Quelch with great interest, wondering what v would do. He looked over the paper, and his face relaxed as v saw the picture on the cover. Then he opened the book and glanced through it.

“Ahem! You should not read this in class, Bunter.”

“It’s a jolly good book, sir.”

“I have no doubt about that, but the class-Room is not the place for any book to be read, with the exception of the lesson books.”

“But I wasn’t reading it, sir,” said Bunter eagerly. “As a matter of fact, sir, I read it last night while Wharton was writing out my imposition— I mean—that is—--”

“ While what?” thundered Mr. Quelch, who had been surprised that morning by Billy Bunter turning in an imposition very neatly written, and up to time.

“While—while—— I mean, while Wharton wasn’t writing my impot, sir.”

The Remove giggled, and Harry Wharton colored. Billy Bunter was one of those youths who always expect to have things done for them, and generally get them done, by the sheer force of cheek. It was no new thing for his impots to be written out by one or other of the chums of No. 1 Study. But Mr. Quelch, feeling that he could not very well act upon an unguarded admission, passed over the matter.

“If you were not reading this paper, Bunter, what were you doing with it ?“ .

“ I----I was guessing the answer, sir.

“What do you mean?”

“The football competition, sir—those pictures, sir. Every picture represents a famous footballer, and the first is handily, and the second is Hodletters” Mr. Quelch smiled involuntarily.

: You must not look at the book in class, Bunter. You will take fifty lines and I shall examine those lines very carefully to see whose handwriting they are in. I will keep this book for the present.”

“Oh, really, sir - I don’t mind. If you would like to go in for the competition, I would willingly help you guess —“

“Silence, Bunter.’

“I’ve filled most of them in, sir, and you can see them— Handley, Lettertube, Hodletters, MacLuckic—”

“ Will you be silent, Bunter ?“ said Mr. Quelch, trying not to laugh. “Silence in class. I shall cane the next boy who laughs.”

And Mr. Quelch laid the paper on his desk, and the Remove resumed their interrupted excursion among Latin verbs.

When morning lessons were over, Billy Bunter stoppcd at the master’s desk to reclaim his book before he went out. Mr. Quelch had forgotten it, and ha looked inquiring Lee at Bunter. Billy blinked apologetically.

“ Please may I have my book, sir ?“ he said.

“Your book? Oh, yes – certainly.”

“I’m not in a hurry, sir, if you’d like to read it. There’s an awfully good story in it, about a school—“

Mr. Quelch smiled.

“You may have your book, Bunter.”

“If you’d care to go in for the football competition , sir, I shouldn’t mind you’re using the answers I’ve written in. There are a lot more sets of pictures to come, but I haven’t the slightest doubt that, with my splendid ability at guessing the answer is, I shall be able —“

“You may go, Bunter.”

“Very well, sir. Could you tell me—if you l Don’t mind, sir?——”’

“Do you want to ask me something?”

“Yes, sir, if you don’t mind, sir.”

“Of course I do not mind,” said Mr.. Quelch testily. “I am always willing to impart any information to my class, and am rather surprised that you should desire any. What as it you wish to know, Bunter ?“

“Have you ever heard of a famous foobaIler named Beepaint, sir?”

“Eh! What?”

“Have you ever heard of a famous-—”

You may go, Bunter.”

“Yes, sir, but———”

“Go !“

And Bunter thought he had better go. He followed the grinning Removites from the room, with his “Gem” tucked under his arm.

“You shrieking ass !“ said Bob Cherry. “The marvel to me is that Quelch didn’t lick you.”

Bunter looked surprised.

“I don’t see why he should be annoyed, Cherry. He told me I could ask him, and said he was willing to impart information, and I really fail to see why he cut up rough when I asked him if he had heard of a football are named Beepaint.”

“ Ha, ha, ha !‘‘

“Ass !“ said Nugent. “I tell you the answer to that picture is Blake.”

“ Well, it may be Blake, Nugent, but if there's a foot taller named Beepaint—”

“But there isn’t”

“ How do you know? You don’t know the names of all the footballers in the kingdom”

“Of course I don’t, but——-”

“Well, then, very likely there’s a footballer named Beepaint, and that’s the answer to the picture,” said Billy Bunter triumphantly.

“You unutterable ass t’

“I don’t think you ought to call me names, Nugent,

because I see deeper into things than you do. The best thing we can do is to club together, and send in one set with Blake and another set with Beepaint “

“No fear.”

“Thats the way to scoop in the prizes. If you fellows like to find the money for going into the thing thoroughly, I’m willing to share equally with you in what we get.”

“You’re too generous by half, Billy.”

“And we’re too unselfish to take advantage of it,” laughed Harry Wharton.

“The fact is, I mean to be generous. I believe in a fellow sticking to his own study. I place my great abilities as a guesser completely at your service. All I ask in return is that you find a little cash to carry out the scheme. I’ve been disappointed about a postal order, or I wouldn’t ask you. I say, you fellows, where are you going?”

“Out t”

“Hold on a minute, Wharton—Nugent! I say, Cherry, I’ll have that jam tart now.”

“What jam tart?” asked Bob Cherry, staring.

“The one you promised me when we got up this morning. I say, Cherry “

But Bob Cherry was gone after his chums. Bunter followed them, and ran into Bulstrode. He caught him by the sleeve.

“I say, Cherry, I’m awfully hungry, and—”

“Can’t help it, if you are,’ said Bulstrode, grinning.

“Is that you, Bulstrode? I’m so glad to see you. You used to lend me little sums when you were in No. 1 Study, before Cherry came —“

“Yes, it’s a bad habit I’ve got out of,” said Bulstrode, walking away.

“Dear me! How selfish all the fellows are!“ murmured Bunter. “It isn’t as if I were a fellow always cadging, like some chaps! And they could really make such a good thing out of this, if they could only see it. It’s very annoying !“

The fat junior walked out into the Close. The Famous Four had gone down to the football ground, where they were putting in all their spare timc lately. A match between the Remove and the Upper Fourth was shortly coming off, and Harry Wharton and Co. had determined that the rival Form should be soundly licked. It was no easy task, however, to take on a higher Form, and the Remove eleven needed practice to keep them fit. Temple and Dabney, of the Upper Fourth, were standing by the door chatting when Billy Bunter came out, reading his“Gem” as he came, and, of course, the Owl of the Remove walked into them.

Temple took him by the collar and shook him and backed him up against the wall with no gentle hand. Billy Bunter blinked at him.

“I say, Hazeldenc, let go! I’m sincerely sorry——”

“What do you mean by biffing into your elders?” demanded Temple.

“Oh, it is you, Temple! I’m sincerely sorry, but I didn’t see you. I’m a trifle short-sighted. I say, you fellows, would you like a chance of making money?”

Temple laughed.

“That depends, Bunty. Not if it’s one of your schemes.”

‘This is a really first-class idea. The editor of the ‘Gem’ guarantees the prize, so you can’t fail to score. It’s a football competition.”

“How do we know we shall score? We mayn’t get the correct answers.”

“Oh, yes, it’s infallible if my idea is carried out.”

“And what’s the idea?”

“You hand me over five bob each—”

“Do we?” grinned Temple. Do we, Dab?”

“Oh, rather:” chuckled Dabney.

“I think I can see us doing it, too,” said Temple. “Why not make it five pounds, Bunty? ’

“ Well, as a matter of fact, Temple, five pounds would be better,” Billy Bunter on suspiciously. “ Five pounds would allow me more scope. If you fellows could raise that in, and stand five pounds each, that would make the thing a dead cert. But could you afford to put up a fiver each?”

“As easy as five bob, Bunter.”

“Oh. good! Well, this is the scheme. I buy up any number of copies of the paper, you see, and fill in every possible answer. For instance, see this third picture. It might be either be Beepaint or beelake, or Lettertube—”

“ I’ve never heard of footballers of those names.”

“There are lots of footballers you haven’t heard of. My idea is to send in a lot of sets with every possible variation, and if you fellows stand the cash, we’re absolutely certain to walk off with the prizes. I’ve had some good ideas in my time, but really I’ve never had one quite so ripping as this.

‘Do you think it’a a ripping idea, Dab?”

“Oh, rather “

“Then you’d better let it rip, Bunty. Good-bye !“

“When are you going to pu up the cash, Temple?”

“When are we going to put up the cash, Dab?”

“In the year 1919,” said Dabney reflectively.

“That’s it, Bunter! On the thirty-second of October, 1919!”

“Look here, you fellows, if you’re rotting——”

“ Ha, ha, ha !’

The Upper Fourth fellows strolled away arm in arm, leaving the fat Removite staring after them wrathfully.

“Rotters“ muttered Billy Bunter. “They sha’n’t come into the scheme now, not if they come back with tears in their eyes, and a fiver each. But really I wish I could find somebody to finance this scheme. It seems an awful pity for the prize not to be roped in when with my remarkable ability at guessing the answers —— Hello, Levison! Will you take a squint at this picture, old chap?”

“ Certainly!“ said Levison, stopping. “What is it”

“It’s a picture of a B’ and a tube of lake.

“Yes, I suppose it’s a bee, and a pond. I’ve got a lot of answers for it already. Lettertube, Beepaint, Beelake, Beecolour; and Cherry thinks it’s Blake, but that

doesn’t seem to me so good, it’s too simple. What would you take it for?”

Levison cocked his eye thoughtfully at the picture.

“ Well, what do you say to Lettercolour?” he asked.

‘ Well, that’s not so bad, either; but is that the name of a footballer?’

“My dear chap, haven’t you heard of Lettercolour, who plays outside-left threequarter full-back in the Muggloton Mudcatchers?” exclaimed Levison, in astonishment.

Billy Bunter rubbed his nose.

“He plays what, Levison?”

“Outside-right, full-quarter three-back.”

“Look here, Levison, if——”

“Perhaps I’ve got it mixed,” said Levison. “But Lettercolour is the name you want. Shove in Lettercolour, Billy, and it will make them open their eyes.”

“I’ll put it in. That makes 5 answers I’ve got for that one. You see, to carry out my Scheme I shall want to send in a lot of sets. If you would like to rope in the prize list, you can stand five bob, and——”

“I haven’t it, Billy, or I’d jump at the chance,” said Levison. ‘ Why don’t you ask Quelch?”

“Mr. Quelch!“ ejaculated Billy Bunter, even his credulity staggered by the question. But Levison was perfectly grave.

“Yes, Quelch. Didn’t you see how awfully interested he was in the thing when he took your paper away this morning?’

“Well, I think he was.”

“Then how annoyed he was when you wanted him to tell you his answer for that picture?”

“When I asked him if he had heard of a football are named Beepaint, do you mean? “

“That’s it. He didn’t want to give his answer away.”

“Dear me, I shouldn’t wonder,” said Bunter. “I suppose he’s going in for it, : and he wants to keep it dark.”

“No need to jaw it all over the Remove, you know,” said Levison seriously. “Form masters are only human, and they might like going in for the football competitions just a much as we do. If Quelch knew of your scheme. I haven’t the slightest doubt that he would jump at it, and be glad of the chance.”

“Do you really think so, Levison?”

“Well, try him, and see,” said Levison encouragingly. Billy Bunter hesitated.

“ He might get into a wax, you know.”

“ Why should he? A cat may look at a king, and I suppose a junior may ask a civil question of a Form master? Put it to him straight— ask him if he’d like to come into a scheme for getting rich quick, and explain to him. Never mind if he interrupts you. It’s for his own good; go ahead.”

“Well, if you really think it would be a good idea, Levison——”

“ It would be ripping“

“Then I’ll do it. After all, Quelch is a decent sort, and I should be glad to put him up to a good thing like this.”

“That’s right. He’s in his study now ; strike while the iron’s hot.’’

Billy Bunter hurried off towards Mr. Quelch’s study and Levison sank down upon the stone steps, and laughed till he was almost in hysterics.

THE EIGHTH CHAPTER.

Something like Revenge.

“ I TINK tat it vork vell, ain’t it?”

“I zink zat you zink quite right, mon ami”

“Ve puts dem in deir blace pefore.”

“Zat is correct.”

“Zat ve goes and insults zem again,” said Adolph Meunier, grinning. “Let us all go togezzer and valk past zem and shrug up ze shoulders viz ourselves.”

“Ach ! Tat is goot !’

“Ferry goot!’

“Zen come along viz me, mes ami” said Adolphe Meunier.

The aliens were fairly on the war-path. A dozen or more of them were in the Cloisters, looking out upon the old green Close of Greyfriars. They were grinning and chuckling over the success of the new wheeze; or what they regarded as its success.

“Come on den,” said Hoffman. “You leads, my dear Adolphe.”

“Not so, my dear Fritz. You takes ze first place.”

“I not goes before my belofed Adolphe.”

“Zen ve goes togezzer, mon ami.”

“Tat is goot.”

The French and German juniors linked arms most affectionately, and walked, or rather strutted, into the Close. The rest of the party followed them. The Removites had come off the footer ground, and some of them were standing in a group, chatting, when the foreign youths came in sight.

Hoffman, Meunier & Co. marched on solemnly, their noses in the air. They went very close to the Removites, who stared at them.

“Hallo, hallo, hallo, here they are again !“ said Bob Cherry. “I say, Meunier, what are you doing off an organ?“

Hallo, Hoffy! Where did you dig up that face?”

“What price frogs?”

“What’s the matter with their necks?”

“Take no notice,” murmured Adolphe Meunier. “Valk right on, and all of you shrug up ze shoulder ven I shrugs up mine viz myself.”

“Ferry goot, my dear Adolphe.”

And the aliens walked on, nose in air. The Removites stared and giggled. Some of them guessed that it was a new wheeze, A.,thols thought the aliens had gone suddenly insane, and some were too amazed to do anything but stare blankly.

“My— my hat “ gasped Bob Cherry. “Look at them ! They’re moved by springs, and somebody has pressed the button !.”

It really looked like it, for at the same moment, at the signal from Meunier, each of the aliens shrugged his shoulders up to his ears

‘Ha, ha, ha !“ roared Nugent.

“Ach !“ murmured Fritz Hoffman. “Tey laff to cover up te defeat, ain’t it? I tinks tat ve crush dem tis time, ain’t it, pefore?”

“Ciel ! Zey vill nevair, nevair hold up zeir heads, my dear Fritz!”

“ It vas a goot wheeze, my dear Adoiphe.”

The aliens swung round on their heels, and walked off, their noses still in the air, their backs turned upon the Greyfriars Remove.

A yell of laughter from the Remove followed them.

“ My only hat : ‘ murnured Bob Cherry. “This is man to be crushing. Do you feel crushed, Wharton?”

“‘ Terribly.”

“Do you, Nugent!”

“ Can’t you see I’m trembling?”

“The tremblefulness at the honourable frown of the esteemed rotters is terrific.”

“Oh, hold me up, somebody :“ gasped Bob, falling round Nugent’s rnck. I shall die—I feel I shall expire if they keep on. Human flesh and blood won’t stand those funny merchants

“ Ha ha, ha !‘‘

‘‘Ho, Ho, ho !‘

The aliens looked back, a trifle disconcerted by the ringing laughter. Hoffman seemed worried for a moment as he saw the Greyfriars fellows doubled up with laughter.

“Ach! Tey do not look crashed, my dear Adolph.”

“It is zat zey pretend,’ said Meunier. “Zey not know vat to do to hide ze mortification, and zerefore zey g ha ha!”

“ Ja, ja I tinks tat tat is it.”

“ Zat is certainly correct, my dear Fritz.”

“Den and let us valk past dem again, my dear Adolphe, and crush dem.”

“ I tink zat zat is goot.’

And the aliens turned again, and “ proseshed “ past the group of amazed Removites, and shrugged up their shoulders, and turned on their before. Bob Cherry threw himself down on the grass and yelled. Nugent hugged the nabob and wept on his shoulder. The Removites roared, and roars of laughter came from all quarters.

“Ciel! How fearfully zey must be mortified, to laugh like zat,” said Adolphe Meunier.

“Ach ! It is tat you are right pefore, my dear Adolphe.”

“I zink zat ve gets ze best of it zis time, my dear Fritz.”

‘ I tink tat you are right aftpr.”

And the aliens, satisfied with their splendid success, ambled into the Cloisters. The Removites were still yelling with laughter

“My only hat !“ gasped Hazeldean. “Did you ever see such a set of howling idiots? It’s too funny for anything t“

“Oh, don’t say a word,” said bob Cherry weekly. “ I haven’t another laugh left in me ! I’m simply winded, and I’ve got a pain in my ribs.”

“ My word,’ grinned Nugent. “I’ve never been so insulted in my life ! Oh, hold me !”

“The shreiking asses! “

“The howling duffers‘

“Ha, ha, ha !”

Some of the Remove followed the aliens to the Cloisters, and in the gates Meunier & Co. turned back and treated them to a series of shrugs which would have put English shoulders out of joint.

Meunier was in the middle of a shrug which brought his shoulders above his ears, when Bob Cherry a pea-shooter to his lips and let fly.

The missile caught the French junior under the chin, and he unfolded himself in remarkably quick time, with an ears splitting yell.

“Vat is te matter?‘ demanded s Hoffman.

“ Ciel: Somezing stung me viz itself.”

“ Ach ! I tink – Ach ! Himmel !”

“Vat iz ze mattair?”

“Somezing strong me also as well, after?” grunted Hoffman. I tink tat it vas a wasp.”

“I tink tat it vas pea-shooter,” grinned Liniburger. “Look at tat Sherry.”

‘Ciel! It is tat Sherry “

Bob Cherry had sent the second pea, and his shooter was in his lips again. As the aliens caught sight of it, the misspelled flu and caught Lerouge under the nose. The French youth gave a yell, and rushed towards the the Removites.

“ Come back“ cried Adolphe Meunier. “Zat is not ze vay ve crushes zem. Ve insult zem, and zat is enoff.”

“ Come pack, ain’t it?” exclaimed Hoffman.

But Lerouge did not come back. He also rushed straight at Bob Cherry, and in a moment more they were rolling in the cloisters.

“Ve goes to help him , I tink,” said Hoffman.

“Zat is correct, my dear Fritz.”

The aliens rushed to the rescue. The remove Crowded up, and there was a scrimmagc. Lerouge tore himself loose from Bob Cherry, with a swollen nose, from which the “claret“ was screaming. Bob had and I totally close. Wharton and Hoffman reeled to and fro in deadly combat.

“Buck up, Remove “ shouted Nugent.

And the Removites rushed forward. The rush was irresistible. The aliens were hurled back, and driven pelmell through the gates into their own quarters.

Harry Wharton gave Hoffman a whirl that sent him spinning in after the others, and he bumped against July’s and sent him down, ind rolled on him. The Removites crowded up to the gate, greatly inclined to return the invasion; but the aliens flung themselves at the gate and jammed it shut, and Meunier fastenpd it.

“Come out “ yelled the Remove. “ Come out and be licked!“

“Ach! Peegs! Pounders !”

“ Ciel ! Rottairs ! Cochons !“

‘ Come out ! Yah ! Come out and be linked !“

“ Don’t say anyzing “ gasped Adolphe Meunier. “Zey are vild because ve have insult zem ! Zat ve insult zem again, mes amis. Follow me.”

“Ferry goot !”

The aliens fell into line, and ranged just inside the gate, and shrugged up their shoulders at the juniors outside. The Removites watched them between the bars. The shoulders were shrugged as high as human shoulders would go, and then the foreign juniors turned on ther heels.

“Ha, ha. ha :“ roared the Removites .

The aliens marched off without turning their heads, and disappeared behind an angle of the red brick academy. The Salinas tottered away, shrieking with laughter.

THE NINTH CHAPTER.

Mr. Quelch Refuses a Tempting Offer.

MR. QUELCH came hurriedly out of his study to go down to the dining— room, and at the same moment Bunter arrived at his door. The Form master and the junior met in collision, and Mr. Quelch staggered

back against the door closed. Bunter dropped his glasses, and gasped for breath.

“You— you ass “ he gasped. “You’ve knocked my glasses off, and if they get broken, I shall expect you to pay for them ‘

“ What !” said Mr. Quelch, in a voice of thunder.

Bunter gave a jump.

“I—I— I’m sincerely sorry, sir; I thought it was Bulstrode.’

Oh, indeed“ Mr. Quelch did not think that the junior really meant to call him art ass, but he was annoyed.

“Bunter –“.

“Excuse me, sir, I’ve dropped my classes. If you were to tread on them, they would be broken, and——”

“Bunter !’

‘ July’s I haven’t a. second pair, sir. I—“

“ They are lying close to your foot, Bunter.”

“Dear me, so they are ‘ said v, recovering his glasses and mounting them on his nose. “Thank you very much, sir.’

“And now, Bunter-.”

“I was just coming to see you, sir, on almost important matter--”

“Come, come, what is it “

“It’s awfully important, sir, and———’’

“Well, come into my study,” said Mr. Quelch, in a tone of resignation. “I can spare you exactly two minutes, Bunter. I have to go into the dining-Room to take the Form table.’

‘ The Form wouldn’t mind being a bit late, sir.”

‘ Come to the point.”

“Certainly, sir. Two minutes isn’t very long, though, to explain a matter of such importance as this. However, I’ll do my best.’

‘‘ One minute is nearly gone,” said the Remove master grimly. If you really have auiything to say, Bunter, you had better say it.”

‘Yes, sir, certainly, only I get so confused when I am hurried. It has been suggested to me, sir, and I think it’s a good idea, that I ought to tell you about my new scheme.”

“I don’t understand you, Bunter . What scheme are you speaking of?”

“My new scheme, sir.”

“ Is it something in connection with your lessons?”

‘‘ Oh. no, sir. It’s a way to scoop in all the prizes in ‘The Gem’ football competition.”

“Eh!”

“ What I want, to work the scheme on a proper basis, is capital. I have tried to get the fellows to take shares, but they’re short of tin.”

‘ Bunter ! ‘‘

“‘ Yes, sir. And it has been suggested to me that you might like to take a share in the scheme, sir !”

‘‘ I ! Bunter ! Really.—‘‘

‘‘You see, sir, with my splendid ability in guessing the names of the foot ball are represented by the pictures, we require capital——”

“ We ! WE ! Well, upon my word !“

“I was thinking of taking in four or five fellows upon five bob shares, sir, but if you^ to go in for it, you could supply the money and I would supply the brains ‘

“Bunter !“

“I would keep all others out. A capital of a couple of pounds would be sufficient, and I would guarantee——”

“Boy –“

“Yes, sir. I would guarantee that we scoop in all the prizes–“

“Silence, sir !“

“Certainly. But as I was saying—”

“If this is intended for impertinence, Bunter ——”

‘‘ Impertinence, sir?,

“ Yes, sir, rank impertinence!“

‘‘ Rank impertinence, sir !”

“Don’t repeat my words! This is evidently intended for —“

“ It’s a jolly good scheme, sir. You don’t think there is any harm in football competitions, do you, sir?“

“Of course not! I think— —“

“And it’s a jolly good paper, sir— complete stories for everyone, and every story a gem—”

‘ Bunter !“

“If you think I couldn’t guess the answers, sir, there’s no doubt whatever on that point. I have a way of dropping on them at first glance. There’s No 3 for instance— Cherry and Wharton both thought that was Blake, but I knew it was either Beepaint are Lettertube all along.”

“Bunter, your stupidity—”

“Not at all, sir; I’m not stupid, only common minds can’t always understand me.”

Mr. Quelch did not waste any more breath. He reached out for a cane. Billy Bunter eyed that proceeding in nervous alarm.

“ I say, sir.———”

“Hold out your hand, Bunter.”

“ My—my hand, sir?”

“Yes, and at once !”

“But, I say, sir

‘Thwack t The cane descended upon Billy Bunter’s shoulder, and he gave a roar.

“Now you may go,” said Mr. Quelch.

“Ow! Thank you, sir! Ow !“

And the fat junior gladly scuttled out of the study. Mr. Quelch looked angry for some moments; then the clouds cleared off his face, and he laughed,

Bunter did not stop running till he collided with Levison in the doorway. Levison. caught him by the collar, and steadied him.

“ Is it all right, Billy?”

“That you, Levison !“ gasped Billy. “No, it isn’t all right.”

“Oh, I thought perhaps you were rushing off to the post- office to get an order for a pound to send four copies of ‘The Gem’”

“Oh, no, Levison! It won’t work”

“Oh, come, you couldn’t have put it to Quelch properly. Did you explain to him that you would supply the brains if he would supply the money?”

“Yes.”

“And didn’t he agree even then?”

“No, he didn’t. It seemed to annoy him. The fact is, Levison, I’ve thought for some time that Quelch was a little off his chump. A reasonable man wouldn’t turn up his nose at a chance like this, and there was no reason for him to lose his temper, that I could see. But he was awfully waxy. He gave me a thwack.”

“ He did, did he?”

“Yes, and he seemed quite an IDE .”

“Tackle him again. Billy.”

“Not much,” said Billy Bunter. “You can tackle him yourself next time, Levison.”

“Oh, so you are the author of this nonsense, Levison?” broke in the voice of the Remove master.

Levison swung round in dismay to meet the stern eyes of Mr. Quelch.

“I—I, sir—” he stammered.

Mr. Quelch was frowning.

“I shall not take any notice of words accidentally overheard, sm,” he said. And Levison drew a breath of relief, “But I shall keep an eye on you.”

“If you please, sir, I—I—”

“That is enough.”

And Mr. Quelch walked on with chilling majesty. Levison was very red, and Billy Bunter wore a wondering look.

“He seems to be waxy with you now, too, Levison,” he remarked. “I wonder if he is annoyed at your having suggested the idea to me of taking him into the scheme?’

“Oh, shut up, you young ass !”

“Oh, I say, Levison”

Levison swung away. The Remove were coming in to dinner now, and Bob Cherry playfully took Billy Bunter by the ear to escort him into the dining-roorn.

“Oh, please don’t, Wharton!

“Ha, ha, ha!”

“Oh is it you, Cherry? I knew it was you, of course. I say, Cherry, Quelch is in a wax.”

“What have you been doing, you young reprobate, to ruffle the plumage of our esteemed Form master ?’ demanded Bob Cherry severely.

“Blessed if I know. I thought it would please him, and Levison thought so, too.”

“What have you done, ass?”

“ I offered to take him in on shares in the football competition, he to supply the money, and me the brains, you know.”

“You—you—you unspeakable young duffer ! Did Levison put you up to it?”

“Well, he suggested the idea.”

“You shrieking duffer, and couldn’t you see that he was pulling your leg!” exclaimed Bob Cherry. “Did Quelch lick you?”

“Well, he seemed very much annoyed.”

“It was too bad of Levison!” said Harry Wharton, with a darkening brow. ‘ Bunter is so stupid that he is taken in easily.”

“Oh, I say, Wharton --

“ Levison, with a road and face, moved beside Harry as they entered the dining room. He seemed to want to speak, but hesitated. Ever since the night when Harry Wharton had found him in the storm on the Black Pike, Levison had changed his line of conduct towards the captain ot the Remove. The old mockery, the old cynicism, were still strong in his nature, but towards Wharton they were never shown.

“Wharton!” muttered Levison. Harry’s face was cold and hard. “I say, Wharton, it was only a joke on that young ass, you know.”

“It might have got him an awful licking,” said Harry.

“Well, he ought to be licked for being such a confounded young ass !” said Levison. “ He tempts people to make a full of him, with his silly fatheadedness and conceit .”

“Yes, there’s no harm in a joke; but setting a young ass to cheek a Form master is rather more than a joke.”

“Oh, well, perhaps—perhaps you’re right,” said Levison , with an effort. “ I—I’m sorry.”

And he moved quickly away. Harry Wharton glanced after him in astonishment. They were the last words he had ever expected to hear upon Ernest Levison’e lips.

THE TENTH CHAPTER.

A Surprise in Store.

THE aliens were to the fore again when the Greyfriars fellows went out after dinner. They were watching from the Cloisters, and when the Removites appeared, Meunier and Hoffman and their merry men came into sight immediately. They walked past the Removites with their noses in the air, shrugged their shoulders, and turned on their heels.

Some of the Remove were ready to “go for” them but Mr. Quelch’s window was open, and the Remove master could be seen sitting within, and a“row” was not judged expedient under the circumstances.

‘The asses!” grinned Nugent. “It’s funny, but I’m getting fed up with their grimaces, all the same.”

Hoffmann, Meunier & Co. shrugged their shoulders, and walked away. They made no reply to the jeers and taunts of the Remove, but walked off quite satisfied with themselves and their revenge.

“Ach, it is petter as efer vas !” grinned Fritz Hoffmann in the Cloisters. “Tey not know vat to do mit demselves, I tink.”

“Ze mortification is great,” smiled Adolphe Meunier “I zink zat ve makes zem sing small , mon ami.”

“I tink te same, dear Adolphe.”

“Ve vill keep on to insult zem and shrug ze shoulders at zem,” said Adolphe Meunier. “I zink zat ve makes zem vish zat zey had nevair roused us.”

“Ach, ve are terrible ven ve are roused, my dear Adolphe”

“Zat is correct, my dear Fritz.”

“Perhaps ve are a leedle bit too hard up tem, howefer.”

“Not at all, my dear Fritz. I zink zat ve ought to crush zem!”

“ Ferry goot. I agrees mit my dear Adolphe.”

And so they carried on the campaign; but the Greyfriars Remove were tired of laughing now. As Nugent had remarked, they were getting “fed up” with the antics of the foreign juniors. The next time the shrugging expedition was carried out, without a master’s eye being near, their were likely to be ructions.

Bob Cherry was thinking it over. He thought it over during lessons that afternoon, and suddenly the silence, of the class-room was disturbed by a loud and prolonged chuckle from the unlucky Bob.

Mr. Quelch turned an eye like a gimlet upon him. Bob Cherry, realising where he was the next moment, turned crimson, and set dumb.

“Cherry, you appear to be greatly amused about something,” remarked Mr. Quelch, in the dry, sarcastic tones which the Remove knew and dreaded.

“ Is it possible that 1 have unwitiingly expressed myself humorously in my remarks upon deponent verbs? ’

“You see, sir—’ stammered Bob Cherry.

“Ah, perhaps you were not thinking of the lesson, however, but were amused by an extraordinarily good story that record to your mind.” suggested Mr. Quelch blandly.

“Perhaps you were not thinking of the lesson at all, Cherry?”

Bob Cherry was dumb.

“Perhaps you will tell me what I have just been explaining to you,” said Mr. Quelch, in the same tone. “ Wi1l you have the kind now is to define a deponent verb, Cherry?”

“I—I Certainly, sir. A deponent verb is—is –“

“ Go on, Cherry’”

“A deponent verb is transitive in form, sir, and — and intransitive in meaning.”

The Renove giggled joyously. Mr. Quelch smiled .

“Ah, so that is your definition of a deponent verb, Cherry?”

“I—I if you please, sir, I think I—”

“You will write out one hundred times, Cherry, that a deponent verb is passive in form and active in meaning,” said the master of the Remove; “and you will have the countenance to bring me the lines before bedtime to date. Do you think that a hundred times will be sufficient to impress it upon your memory?”

“and Ye-e-es, I think so, sir.”

“Very good. We will now resume the lesson if Cherry has quite finished in his ebullitions of merriment,” said Mr. Quelch.

Cherry had quite finished his ebullitions of merriment. No junior ever felt very merry with Mr. Quelch’s eye on him and piercing him like a gimlet. Bob Cherry set abashed, and more or less attentive, till the lesson was ovcr, and the welcome time of dismissal came to the Remove. Nugent thumped him on the shoulder as the remove left the classroom.

“What on earth did you suddenly go off like a cheap German alarm clock for, Bob” he asked.

“A what?”

“Well, like a hen with the croup, then.”

“The cacklefulness was terrific t” remarked the Nabob of Bhanipur. “Was it indeed the funnifulness of the deponent verbs, or was it that an esteemed new wheeze entered flashfully into the honorable Cherry’s fat head?”

“I don’t think anybody ever found Latin verbs funny,” granted Bob Cherry. “It was an esteem ed new wheeze, my inky friend.’

“Get it off your chest, then, Bob t”

“Is it a new idea for No. 3, Cherry?” chimed in Billy Bunter, ‘ Have you thought of anything better than Beepaint or Lettertube?”

“It wasn’t a new idea for No. 3, Billy; and you can buzz along before I speak, as I don’t want it yarned all over the school,’

“Oh, really, Chery—”

“ Cut——’’

“But, I say, Cherry, you know how you can rely upon me.”

“Yes I do, Billy, and that’s why you’re to cut. We had to watch you like a giddy pack of detectives last time we had a wheeze up against the aliens, in case you gave it away. We’re not looking for work now.”

“Oh, if it’s only a wheeze against the aliens you can keep it. If it was anything to do with the football competition –“

“Well, it isn’t. Cut! “

“On second thoughts, though, you had better tell me, Cherry, and I can probably suggest some improvements that have occurred to you——”

Bob Cherry took the opal icing Owl of the remove by the year and com pressed his thumb, and forefinger till the Fat junior squeaked squeaked.

“Does that hurt, Billy?” he asked, in a tone of solicitude.

“‘ Yes. Owt Yes. Ow!”

“Would you like me to serve the other ear the same?”

“No. Ow ! No. Ow !”

“Then you’d better cut while you’ve got the chance.”

Billy Bunter thought so, too. He cut.

Bob Cherry stopped where the afternoon sun was glimmering in through the diamond panes of the hall window, and his chums stopped, too. They were anxious to hear the wheeze which had cost its originator a hundred lines.

“Well, get it off your chest. Bob!” said Nugent.

“We are waiting anxiousfully to hear the honourable whpeze,” purred the nabob of Bhanipur.

“Go ahead, Bob “ said Wharton encouragingly. Leave the chuckles till afterwards, and we’ll chuckle, too.”

“Oh, right you are. Now, I reckon that when we go for our joint all little walks in the Close again we shall meet the shrugging brigade, as usual”

“I suppose so.”

“My idea is, that when they march past and shrug their shoulders at us—”

“Go for ‘em “ said Nugent. “ it’s about time they had another licking.”

“Not at all, my fiery son! There have been too many rows with the aliens of late , and our respected Form master is keeping a wolfish eye upon us. Rows with the aliens are barred except when we can meet them in the comparative seclusion of the cloisters, where there is no evil-eye to watch our peaceable, persuasive methods or putting them in their place.’

“Right enough!” laughed Harry Wharton, “But if we are not to go for them, and not to stand it, what are we to do?”

“ You can buy squirts at Mrs. Mimble’s shop.”

“ What on earth has that to do with it?”

“we can sneak any amount of red ink from one of the class-rooms.”

“My only hat !”

“A squirt is a little thing you can keep out of sight—till it’s wanted. Then it comes to the fore, and—”

“Ha, ha, ha!”

“I think about twenty of us to form a firing4ine would be able to make the aliens tired of marching past us and shocking up their shoulders.”

“I think so, too. Ha, ha!”

Nugent thumped Bob Cherry on the back.

“Ripping” he exclaimed.

“ Well, don’t bust my spinal column!”

“My dear kid, what does a spinal column matter at a moment like this!” said Nugent doubling his fist for a more and Pinochet taken thump, which Bob dodged just in time.

“Keep off, ass! Now, is it a go?

“The gofulness is terrific !”

“Yes, rather! ‘ said Harry Wharton. “We must put a stop to their antics, and I think it’s a jolly good way. What will be rather a surprise for Hoffman& Co. Ha, ha, ha!”

THE ELEVENTH CHAPTER.

The Aliens are Surprised.

“I TINKS tat tey r crush, my dear Adolphe.”

“It looks like zat, certainement, my dear Fritz.”

“ I tinks tat ve have been vatching for half an hour since te school was ofer, and tey have not come out mit demselves, Adolphe.”

“I zink zat is correct.”

“It is gewiss—it. is certain den tat tey are crash.”

“I zink you are right.”

“Ten ve triumph !“

“Ciel. Ve triumpht”

“Pravo !”

The aliens were watching from the Cloisters. They were all ready to carry on the sneering and shrugging campaign, but the Removites were not in evidence. Fellows of other Forms, higher and lower, where to be seen in plenty in”. But the Remove, the special rivals of the foreign juniors, were conspicuous by their absence.

It was only natural that Meunier, Hoffman , & Co. should conclude that the Remove had been crushed.

Hoffmann had lately had a doubt or two as to the efficacy of the treatment meted out to the Lower Fourth Form of Greyfriars. Meunier never lost confidence in his excellent plan, but Hoffman was beginning to have doubts. But the disappearance of the Remove from the Close at Greyfriars was proof enough that the campaign had been a success.

“Ve have conquered tem,” said Hoffman. “Mein freund, ve have conquered dern.”

“Ach Goot !“ said Limburger.

“Zat is good !“ exclaimed Larouge. “Ze Remove not dare to show ze face in ze open, and now I zink zat ve starts on ze next Form.”

Adolphe Meunier grinned approval.

“Zat is correct. Ve have conquer ze Remove, and now ve starts on ze Upper Fourth. Zey are sheeky, and ve put zem in zeir place.

“Sehr goot !” said Hoffmann heartily.

“Mon Dieu! Zere is vun of zem?’ suddenly exclaimed Charpentier.

“Ach ! You vas right, ain’t it?”

A Removites was cutting across the Close from the direction of the school shop. It was Bob Cherry. The aliens sent a concerted yell after him, but Bob Cherry apparently did not hear. He did not turn his head, at all events, and the next minute he had disappeared into the house.

“Zat vas Sherry,” said Meunicr. “If he not dare to face ze enemy, it is certain zat ze rest are cowed. Ve have conquered !”

“It is pecause ve have made te goot friend,” said Hoffman . “I tinks tat I embraces my dear friend Hoffman.”

“Men Dieu ! I embrace my belofed friend Fritz!’

And they employ still, It was a most affecting scene. Then the aliens continued to watch the Close, while debating whether to begin operations on the Upper Fourth with the same invincible, crushing tactics.

There was a sudden exclamation from Lerouge.

“Ceil ! Zere zey come !“

The Remove were seen issuing from the great doorway, and nearly the whole of the Form came gradually into view. Harry Wharton & Co. were at the head, and they came strolling with a careless air towards the cloisters.

The Removites followed in a crowd, with prim and serious faces, and their hands in their pockets.

“Zere zey are !“ said Meunier. “I tink zat I not comprehend. Is it zat zey have just screw up zeir courage to ze sticking-point ?“

“ I tink tat tat is it, my dear Adolphe.”

“ Zen ve starts on zem again, my dear Fritz.”

The foreign juniors were quite ready to start. They came out of the dusky Cloisters, and shaped their course so as to pass close to the Removites.

Harry Wharton made his followers a sign to halt.

The Remove stopped, in an irregular line, and waited solemnly for the aliens to come up. Meunier grinned at Hoffman.

“Zey know vat to expect, my dear Fthe ritz.”

‘ Tat is so, my dear Adolphe.”

The foreign juniors walked on, They held their noses high in the air, and halted within a few paces of the Removites, to shrug their shoulders up to their ears.

“Fire !“ shouted Harry Wharton.

Th E. word startled the aliens.

They stopped in the midst of their shrugging; but there was no time fot them to escape.

As Harry Wharton shouted out the word, each Removites’s right hand came out of his pocket, and each right hand held a squirt, full of red ink.

Squiz-z-zzz!

“ Ow ! Oh “

“Parbleu “

“Ach himmel “

“Ciel!”

“Mein gootness!”

There was no avoiding the fire. The squirting ink squizzed into the faces of the aliens before they knew what was coming, converting them with startling suddenness into Red Indians.

“Mein gootness !“ roared Hoffmann, as the red ink trickled over his face. “Vat is tat? I tinks tat I am vet, ain’t it?”

“Mon bleu !“ gasped Meunier. “I not zink of zis t”

“Ha, ha, ha “ roared the Remove.

Some of the Removites were provided with a second squirt, and they brought the reserves into action promptly.

Hoffmann rushed furiously at Harry Wharton and reeled back as he received a fresh dose in the left ear from Bob Cherry, and one under the chin from Nugent.

“Sock it to they esteemcd rotters squirtfully !” exclaimed Hurree Jamset Ram Singh. “My worthy Meunier, this is for your esteemed left ear.”

And Meunier’s esteemed left ear received it.

The French junior gave a wild yell and dashed at the nabob, A fresh squirt from Hazedene stopped him. The aliens were shrieking and gesticulating by this time like than it takes. There was a babel of French and German shrieks. The Removites roared with laughter.

“Ach “ roared Hoffman . “ I am vet: I am inky pefore! Tat is all te fault of tat French peast Meunier !“

“I zink zat is all ze fault of zat Sherman peeg Hoffman.”

“Poundair !“

“ Rottair !“

“I trashes you !“

“ I zink I giffs you licking.”

And the beloved friends rushed at one another, not to embrace this time, but to renew the old quarrel. Locked in a tangled embrace, less amicable than their previous ones, they reeled to and fro, their reddened faced close to one another.

“Ha, ha, ha !” roared Bob Cherry. “Did you ever see such asses !”

“ We can’t have those inky rotters about here” said Nugent. “Hurree Jampot is the only inky bounder allowed here!. Kick them out !“

“Good !“ laughed Harry Wharton. “Shove them out, kids!”

The Removites rushed forward. The inky and disconcerted foreigners were swept back into the Cloisters in a twinkling, and through them to their own quarters. There they rallied for a moment, but only for a moment. Then the Removites clambered at the gate, which was closed against them in time. Through the bars they could see the foreign juniors, their faces streaming with ink, their aspect wholly ludicrous.

In the melee Hoffman and Meunier had separated for a moment. But now a babel of recrimination arose, French and German voices being mingled in mutual denunciation and invective.

“It vas tat ass Meunier tat –“

“It vas zat Sherman rottair Hoffman—”

“If you says tat again I tinks I trash you, Meunier.”

“I says it again— I says zat vun hundred times”

“Peastly pounder !“

“Rottair !“

“Go it !“ shouted Bob Cherry, through the gate, as the French and German juniors closed in strife once more. “Go it, Froggy ! Go for him, Sauerkraut !“

The excitable aliens were all arguing, recrimination. shrieking, and shouting. Hoffman and Meunier were soon not the only combatants. Argument gradually proceeded to punching and scratching, and ere long most of the aliens were at fisticuffs— French against German.

The sight was extremely diverting to the new Removites, who crowded at the gate, showing encouragement to the combatants. The din was terrific, and it was not surprising that it brought Herr Rosenblaum out of the house with a cane in his hand.

Then the Removites prudently retired, laughing till their ribs ached.

“My only hat !“ Nugent gasped. “It was a ripping wheeze, Bob, my boy! I never saw such a set of funny merchants“

“The rippingfulness was terrific,” said the nabob, chuckling. “I thinkfully consider, my esteemed chums, that we shall see no more of the sneerfulness and the shrugfullness of the worthy esteemed rotten aliens.”

“ Ha, ha, ha ! I fancy not.”

Hurree Jarnset Ram Singh was right.

There were many little difficulties to crop up yet between the Greyfriars juniors and their excitable neighbors; but Adolphe Meunier’s grand plan for crushing the Remove was never tried again.

THE END.